Least popular recipe ever*

We all heard the fairy tales when we were growing up. The one where the princess kisses a frog and it magically turns into a prince. Or the one about the lovely damsel who falls madly in love with a hideous beast.

My hope is that those classic tales will inspire you, my undoubtedly beautiful readers, to consider for a moment pressing your lips up against what may at first glance appear to be the frog of the fairy tale. I'm hoping you'll get past your initial aversions, and like the heroine Roxane of another story, take this Cyrano of a recipe on a first date at the very least.

So who, or rather what, is this beast, this Shrek of the kitchen?

Before I unveil my recipe, let me remind you that in yesterday's post I promised to provide a surprising use for my beloved Spanish anchovies. This recipe fulfills that promise.

So, close your eyes and pucker your lips.... no, that won't work. How will you finish reading?

Enough suspense. Without further ado, meet slow-roasted cauliflower with pounded anchovies.

Wait! Before you close that window, bare with me just a little while longer. Beneath his ugly visage, this Quasimoto is quite lovable.

A bath in a generous amount of olive oil and a languorous stint in a very hot sauna (your oven) combine to transform this pale and gnarled member of the brassica family (whose ugly stepsisters include brussels sprouts, cabbage and kale) into a vegetable that even avowed cauliflower haters will not recognize. The alchemy of slow-roasting causes it to lose its faintly bitter and sulfuric disposition and melt into an impossibly tender, sweetly caramelized vegetable with the texture of a fat French fry.

If it is too much to ask you to top an often reviled vegetable with an even more despised pungent fish, try saucing the cauliflower with just a squeeze of lemon or a sauce of minced parsley, olive oil and toasted almonds or hazelnuts.

On the other hand, if it is not the anchovy but the cauliflower that frightens you, then use this powerful anchovy sauce to perk up steamed broccoli or a salad of chicories, such as radicchio, escarole or frisée. A judicious drizzle of the sauce will also elevate to another level your every day roast chicken, lamb chops, or nearly any pasta.

The pounded anchovy sauce is an emulsion of olive oil and anchovies, with a whisper of lemon juice and a rumor of garlic, so it is vital to use your best extra virgin oil and Spanish anchovies packed in olive oil (not, however, the white Spanish anchovies marinated in vinegar called boquerones, which are unsuitable for this sauce). The recipe is similar to the  vinaigrette I used to dress cardoons recently, minus the vinegar.

Go ahead. Close your eyes and open your heart and taste buds to a new world, one where cauliflower and anchovies are as desirable as a cup of Parisian hot chocolate or a ripe summer peach. Be like Julia Roberts in the early nineties. Allow this Lyle Lovett to serenade your tongue.

By the way, this post is my (extremely early) entry for this week's Weekend Herb Blogging (some of us start our weekends sooner than others), sponsored by Kalyn of Kalyn's Kitchen. Once again, rather than an herb, I chose an ugly duckling vegetable, the cauliflower.

For those who were wondering, no this is not my entry for Rachael's ugly food photo contest?

*It may not be as popular in the blogging community as a recipe for flourless chocolate cake and the like, but in my house it is one of our most favorite. But then again, we both love anything involving either cauliflower or anchovies. I never liked the popular kids much any way. Cheerleaders, football players, who needs 'em?

Slow-Roasted Cauliflower with Pounded Anchovies

For the cauliflower
1 medium-sized head of cauliflower
3-4 T extra virgin olive oil
sea salt
freshly ground pepper
1 T parsley, chopped

For the breadcrumbs
1 slice country bread, crusts removed
2 t extra virgin olive oil
sea salt

For the anchovy sauce
¼ clove of garlic
1 t lemon juice, freshly squeezed
2 anchovy fillets, preferably Spanish, packed in olive oil
3 T extra virgin olive oil

Preheat oven to 350˚F (175˚C). Remove any green leaves from cauliflower. Place head of cauliflower stem side down on a cutting board and slice like a loaf of bread into ¾-inch (2 cm) thick slices through the stem and all.

Toss cauliflower slices in a bowl with the oil and generous amounts of salt and a few grindings of pepper. Lay out in one layer on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Place pan in oven and bake for 1 hour, turning the pieces every 10 minutes. The cauliflower should shrink in size, turn deep golden brown, extremely tender and fall apart easily (see before and after pictures). It may appear ready after 40 minutes, but you want to press on and wait until the cauliflower completely collapses. Some smaller bits will turn dark brown and crispy. Do not discard them. They are the best parts.

While the cauliflower is roasting, tear the bread into tiny pieces. Place in a small shallow pan and drizzle with the oil and sprinkle with salt. Put in oven next to cauliflower. Bake until toasted and crisp, about 10-15 minutes.

Prepare the anchovy sauce. Pulverize the piece of garlic in a mortar with a pestle. Pour lemon juice over it and let sit for 10 minutes to remove the rawness. Coarsely chop the anchovy fillets and then add them to the mortar and pound to a paste. Drizzle in the olive oil while stirring with the pestle until a thick, pourable sauce is formed.

Place the roasted cauliflower on plates, drizzle with anchovy sauce, sprinkle with chopped parsley and breadcrumbs, and serve, either warm or at room temperature.

Food|and Drink|Recipes|Vegetables|Weekend Herb Blogging

Comments

[cookiecrumb]

I'm comin' over. Set an extra place.
(I do a roasted cauliflower dish a lot like yours, with preserved lemons, oil-cured black olives and garlic, along with the anchovies. Overkill? Whatever.)

[Tana]

I'd eat that.

The worst recipe I've ever known is something my mother dreamed up (literally). Pork chops with sauerkraut, apples, and carrots. It was truly barf-worthy, and I was the only one to finish it, because she cruelly set out strawberry shortcake for dessert.

We still all talk about it.

Worst. Recipe. Ever.

[sarah]

ANYTHING with anchovies has got to be good. i'm with cookiecrumb. set a place for me, too!

[Brett]

Cookiecrumb, nothing wrong with a little overkill from time to time. I love preserved lemons on just about anything. And can you ever really go wrong adding olives to something?

Tana, maybe your mother's rendition came out horribly, but it actually sounds yummy to me. Similar to the famous Alsatian dish, choucroute garni, which is a riot of pork products piled on top of sauerkraut braised in riesling (sometimes even with apples and carrots added-no joke!).

But I would never have touched something like that as a kid (or anchovies, for that matter), even if there was strawberry shortcake at the end of the tunnel! It's amazing how our tastes change over the years.

[Luisa]

I think it's a lovely photo, actually! And I agree - anchovies and cauliflower are a match made in heaven.

[mona]

Wow, your posts continue to crack me up. Where have you been all my life? ha :)
Speaking of cauliflower. Have you ever tried the mashed potato variety, as in smashin up some caulis a la mashers? Always wanted to try that recipe ... as I continued reading i was wondering if this was your ugliest picture post so thanks for the clarification.

[johng]

That looks great! Vegetable likes and dislikes are funny -- I cannot for the life if me understand the problem people have with cauliflower. I mean, sure if it's the overcooked mush my mom served, I get that; its nasty. But that was true of pretty much all the vegetables she cooked -- khaki artichokes, olive-green frozen peas, canned creamed corn... I had no idea how lovely all those vegetables could be until they were liberated from her oppressive over-cooking. Back to the cauli - People go on an on about Delfina's pasta and pizza, but the first time I at their roasted cauliflower it was a revelation. Nowdays, at least once if not twice a week I toss cauliflower just in olive oil and garlic and either grill it slowly with the lid closed before I toss on the meat, or I throw it into the oven with whatever is cooking in there. Awfully good -- plus it's in the anti-cancer cabbage family!

[Rachael]

I make something very similar, having a deep affection for both cauliflower and anchovies (of course!)

...and as for it being a bad photo, I disagree, but still, being this cheeky girl I am...will include it in the round up since it will help bolster things. Right now, I am having a serious lack of entries...minus Sam's overexuberance....ekk. Maybe your readers will join in?

Thanks for the awsesome recipe!

Rachael

[Kalyn]

Brett, I stumbled on this so no need to send me the link. Nice job as usual. Very interesting way to cook cauliflower, which I do love. I don't have any anchovies though. I wonder if I can find the spanish ones anywhere in Salt Lake. If I don't find anchovies I might just try your method of cooking the cauliflower and then drizzle on a tiny bit of my best balsamic vinegar, which is good on everything!

[Lindy]

There is no vegetable I do not like, I don't know where I was when the childhood food horrors were handed out, because I just never had any-and I've liked every vegetable I've learned of since. Currently, I am demented for black kale and broccoli rabe in particular.
Cauliflower this way sounds entirely divine, and I'm gonna fix me some.

[mae]

Hi there,

I got here through Kalyn's WHB roundup and i have to say, what a great recipe story!

Anchovies is something Filipinos (like me) love to put on our food. Anchovy sauce especially is something that we use as a dip or sauce like you mention, chicken, for instance. I love anchovy sauce (with a hint of lemon and chillies) on roast chicken and then eaten with boiled rice. For me, this is a match in heaven. My fiance on the other hand, hates the stuff. Don't even like the smell of it not even the tiniest on a ceasar salad. He'd gladly miss it.

Anyway, i would really like to try your recipe as i don't mind cauliflower. I can imagine this dish being really nice. I love the crispy look of the dish on the photo.

[Brett]

Hi all. I've been away from my blog for a few days. It's good to see so many people like both anchovies and cauliflower!

Mona, I can imagine that mashed cauliflower would be tasty, although possibly a little boring. If a few Indian curry spices were added, that would be a different story. Pureed cauliflower makes one of my favorite soups. It's luxuriously velvety.

Johng, slowly grilled cauliflower sounds delicious! It must add a nice touch of smoke.

Kalyn, I'm glad you stumbled across my entry, as I forgot to send you the link. Next time I'll try to actually post on the weekend. And maybe even about an herb, too.

Rachael, go ahead and include my cauliflower pic in your round-up. Or you could use my one of crab louie at Swan Oyster Depot from Friday's post. Some food just tastes better than it looks!

Lindy, black kale and b. rabe are 2 of my favorite winter greens, too.

Mae, welcome to IPO Sardines. One of my good friends (who is Filipino) is as crazy about anchovies (and sardines) as I am. Sorry to hear about your fiance. I can't imagine a Caesar salad without anchovies. I'm lucky that my wife and I share most of the same food likes and dislikes (although she's not crazy about saffron. But I can live with that).

[Ruth]

Wow, so glad I stumbled onto your site. Your writing is hilarious and the dish sounds awesome!!!

Thanks for sharing

[Melissa]

Brett: a) any recipe that combines anchovies and roasted cauliflower would be a contender for *most* popular recipe around here, and b) any photo that has me salivating before I even get to a description of the dish deserves a spot in your photography hall of fame!

[Melissa]

Brett: a) any recipe that combines anchovies and roasted cauliflower would be a contender for *most* popular recipe around here, and b) any photo that has me salivating before I even get to a description of the dish deserves a spot in your photography hall of fame!

[Hande]

I loved this! And my friends too.... great!

[Dorine Houston]

You think cauliflower is less popular than cardoons?

I actually like cauliflower and anchovies, but have never combined them. Your recipe looks wonderful and I plan to try it soon! Thanks for shaaring--and for your good writing.

[sam]

i am going to make the caulliflower part of this equation tonight and put it on a home baked pizza I think. Mmmm, roll on dinner time.

[MaxMillion]

Wow -- this recipe has transformed my life & my kitchen!! Honestly!

In our house we eat a lot of cauli, broccoli, cabbage and occassionally brussel sprouts. We believe that cruciferous vegetables can assist in staving off cancer.

But when it comes to cauliflower, I've always eaten it most reluctantly (with a lot of grizzling and pouting) as my sweetheart prefers it RAW in salads. Ugh!

But we ate your recipe THREE times in one week!

It's *that* good!

Thank you for such a wonderful recipe and for transforming my reluctance towards eating cauli into rampant enthusiasm.

BTW -- I don't believe it is at all necessary to turn the roasting cauli every ten minutes. That's too fussy and too bothersome. I just turned it once after 30 mins and I still obtained great results.

But I love how you caution readers to keep cooking for the full hour. It's true -- the best bits *are* the dark brown ones.

Sooooooooo delicious! Thanks!!

[ChovyChap]

Brett! We could almost class you as the Evil Kenievel of cooking with these daring recipes you are sharing with us. Marrying cauli and chovies - 2 of most peoples disliked foods into one marvelous dish. You culinary daredevil! Can't wait to sample your next daring escapade.

[Alixandria]

It is a good recipe very nutritious and healthy..Wow!! generally i buy my nutritious food from ChuckeCheese.com, Almond Plaza, Peapod stores at couponalbum.com..

[Becki]

I dislike cauliflower. I detest anchovies. And yet, your description and picture of this dish make my mouth water. Exactly how big is your table, again? Could you squeeze in one more chair?

[Joseph Ferrer]

Yum! I would like to add that Filipino ghetto food uses anchovy sauce with their fried fish, steamed vegetables, and white rice...I personally like achovy sauce with red hot pepper mixed it with rice and diced fresh tomatoes. That is what I call home...

[diana]

I can never keep my fav anchovies around long enough to cook with them. So I subbed fish sauce instead and it was pretty good (equal parts sugar, fish sauce water, some garlic and red chili and skip the sea salt).

[Rani]

A friend sent me this, for inclusion with my file of Weird Recipes. I don't think it sounds that weird and I am going to try it. However, I cannot eat bread in any form. When I make a recipe that calls for bread crumbs, I use either well-crushed pork rinds or almond flour. I am leaning towards the pork-rind crumbs.

Any input will be appreciated!

Rani